The Egyptian King: Liverpool’s Non-Negotiable…
Liverpool fans, grab your Klopp-sized glasses because it’s time for another episode of “As Mohamed Salah Turns.” Our beloved Egyptian magician has made it clear that his footwork is worth more than a golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s factory. The proof? Even when he’s not dazzling with the ball, he’s the oxygen tank keeping Liverpool’s attack breathing.
Yes, Salah’s touch count might be lower than a limbo stick at a Carabao Cup fiesta, but who needs touches when you’re packing 51% of Liverpool’s goals in your kitbag? While the rest of the team fiddles their thumbs, Salah is busy bailing Liverpool out of sticky situations more often than Houdini escaped handcuffs. With Van Dijk and Alexander-Arnold watching from the sideline like they’re on a Netflix binge, it’s no wonder why Salah’s new contract demands are making the liver-birded folks at Anfield as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
The bloke’s been dolling out goals and assists like confetti at a Scouse wedding, leaving Liverpool in a pickle. Without him, their goal tally would look like a pizza with all toppings removed. Surely, it’s time for Liverpool to stop dragging their feet and seal the deal, because without Salah, the ship will look like the Titanic, post-iceberg adventure. After all, finding another foot-flicking, goal-smuggling, penalty-stroking genius is like finding a kebab shop open at 6 am – nearly impossible!