Moyes Defends Tarkowski’s Derby Dilemma…
In a twist wilder than a defender dribbling the entire pitch, David Moyes, the High King of Goodison Land, hailed James Tarkowski’s tackle on Alexis Mac Allister as a “brilliant derby moment!” A tackle so high, it could have gotten altitude sickness, somehow dodged the famous red card sent by Lady Luck herself. Referee Sam Barrott must have been wearing rose-tinted spectacles, waving just a yellow card like it was a friendly hello in the park! Meanwhile, the entire planet’s football gods, including the sacred Jamie Carragher and Gary Neville, were about ready to send Tarkowski to the showers.
PGMOL, the secret society of ref reviewers, later whispered from their ivory tower that their mystical VAR machine skidded on a banana peel and a red was the way to go. But Moyes, ever the rebel in football’s Shakespearean play, defied the universe with a cheeky grin. “Ahh, the tackle? More old-school classic than dad’s vinyl records,” he mused, chuckling as he reminisced of yesteryears. “Bit fortunate, but don’t mix it with that cheeky Liverpool goal!” Oh, Moyes, you comedic footy bard!
Meanwhile, our hero Tarkowski, the penitent knight, read from his playbook of apologies and offered his royal “oops!” to Mac Allister post-game. “Not my shiniest moment,” he said with a chuckle, admitting the red might have been warranted. Oh, but the derby will be retold — inked in football’s grand book of mix-ups and madcap moments, forever sealed with a Moyesian wink!
