Can Arsenal Stop the Red Machine?…
In a twist wilder than finding a moose in a Liverpool kit, the Reds are knocking on the door of Premier League glory, and they’d kindly like Arsenal to get out of the way! All eyes are fixated on Arsenal’s clash with Ipswich Town this Sunday, where the drama could reach levels one only sees when octopuses play football. If Arsenal trips over a banana peel and falls to Ipswich, Liverpool could waltz to victory against Leicester and take the title home faster than you can say “You’ll Never Walk Alone.”
But wait! In case you’re wondering if Lady Luck’s GPS is malfunctioning, there’s more extravagant gossip from the title circus. If Liverpool doesn’t tie things up quicker than a kangaroo on a pogo stick, they’ve got a cheeky chance to become champions without even lacing up their boots! Stay breezily out of Arsenal’s clutches until gameweek 34, and the title’s theirs before the bloke at the hot dog stand knows what’s cooking.
Plot twist over at Tottenham too! Spurs, unexpectedly led by the domino-magic of Dominic Solanke’s goal, have their hopes hinged on the Europa League. With domestic dreams magically disappearing from the Premier League to the land of unicorns, Tottenham’s next Anfield encounter might feature half the usual suspects, as Ange Postecoglou ponders fielding lines squared by Amstrad rather than human legs. Liverpool has already taught Spurs a football lesson this season, but will the Reds wrap up the title gift and let the confetti fly?
