Ferdinand’s Titanic Fanbase Tally…
In the most outrageous footie debate since someone tried to use a pineapple as a corner flag, Rio Ferdinand has blasted Liverpool’s trophy chest and declared Manchester United as the “biggest club in the universe,” despite the Reds claiming a massive heap of shiny awards. Like a superhero in tight Red Devils undies, Rio insists the fanbase of United still towers over Liverpool by “a landslide” — somewhere between a mountain and a tsunami.
As Liverpool dances in their 20th trophy glory, our man Rio reminisces about the old days when United fans ruled the Earth like football-loving dinosaurs wearing red scarves. He mildly conceded that Liverpool’s trophy haul is stickier than marmalade on toast. However, he believes Man Utd still has more fans than you’d find seagulls at a French fry stand anywhere on the planet. “It fries my head,” Ferdinand confessed with more anguish than a referee deciding between a penalty and an Italian pizza.
Despite his playful Man United evangelism, Rio admits, “Gotta accept it,” as Liverpool continues to bask in their flashy accolades. It’s clear that if this comedic war of football fanbases continues, we should brace ourselves for more mind-bending opinions and snappy banter, like watching a game of football played by cartoon characters in a candyland stadium filled with confetti instead of grass!
