Howe’s Big ‘Isak Stayback’ Announcement…
In the wild Scottish hills of Pre-seasonland, Newcastle United got a Celtic whacking, going 4-0 down faster than a cat knocked off a shelf. But hold on to your magpie feathers, because the talk of the Toon isn’t the match—it’s the Speakeasy Shuffle on Alexander Isak’s future! Eddie Howe, Newcastle’s very own football sorcerer, pulled a rabbit out of the hat—a no-show for Isak, amid gossipy winds blowing in from Liverpool. In a twist more dramatic than a soap opera slide tackle, Howe insists that there’s been no official chatter from the Mersey Reds and firmly states the club’s luv for Isak is like a bear hug. They want to keep the ÂŁ63m man nestling cozily in St James’ Park’s warm embrace.
The absence of Isak, like a missing star striker on Christmas Eve, sparked questions sharper than a porcupine quill. Howe fielded them with the gusto of a defending pro, hinting that football’s always a bit like musical chairs—your seat might change unexpectedly. Meanwhile, Isak is kicking back, relaxing, and loving the Newcastle vibe like a dog with two tails. Regular as clockwork, Howe sang his praises louder than a Geordie anthem, proclaiming Isak’s talent’s as rare as a Goalkeeper ‘meg’!
Cloaked in the mystical fog of pre-season prep, Howe noted the Toon army might still be dribbling away their recent stumble. But, fear not, he claims, Newcastle’s readying for the football battlefield—a place where lions meet magpies! Despite the drubbing by a sprightly Celtic, Howe thinks Isak’s absence was a wise call worthy of kingly parades, all the while reassuring fans that brighter times—and goals—await when the whistle next blows. Footie comets and cartoon chaos, eh? That’s Newcastle for ya!
