Palace Manager in Birdsmaid Dilemma…
Hold on to your hats, football fanatics! Oliver Glasner, the grand wizard of the Crystal Palace, has gone full magical mongoose mode, lamenting the puzzling absence of new players during the summer circus. Meanwhile, the big bad Reds from Liverpool puff their chests to snare Marc Guehi, hoping to bolster their creaky defense. It seems Glasner is guarded like a dragon protecting its hoard, determined not to part with any glittering gems from his royal eagle nest.
In a spectacular display of strong language akin to a spaghetti western showdown, Glasner flexed his vocabulary muscles louder than a vuvuzela in a library. “I was promised new players!” he declared like Arthur seeking Excalibur, yet only two journeymen present: Borna Sosa, the Ajax magician on a budget, and Walter Benitez, the goalkeeping sorcerer from PSV. Sadly, his optimism is near invisible, concealed by an army of invisible ninjas, and he holds only 17 princely midfielders as the transfer window ticks louder than a referee’s final whistle.
On the other side of football world drama, Liverpool is in desperate need of a shiny new sentinel after Jarell Quansah hip-hip-hoorayed his way to Bayer Leverkusen. With Joe Gomez hobbling off in Achilles agony like a Shakespearean tragedy, the Reds are looking to pounce on Guehi, who dances around the idea of renewing his vow with Palace. With 12 months left in his majestic contract, he might slip off for the legendary price of a decent chip butty. And as Glasner’s promise turns to a pie in the sky, Liverpool’s eyes stay glued to the defensive prize, hoping their tapestry of tackles won’t unravel before the new season dawns.
