Howe Discusses Isak’s Status Amid Striker Woes…
Eddie Howe, the head of the Newcastle United jam factory, says he can’t imagine a future without Alexander Isak unless they discover a replacement striker growing in the backyard garden. It’s the Magpies’ ultimate nightmare considering they’ve benched Callum Wilson, watched transfers fall through like a Jenga tower on game night, and have only young William Osula, who scores as often as cats fetch sticks. With Liverpool visiting soon, Newcastle’s hopes seem as promising as a chocolate teapot in a heatwave.
With Isak still MIA in the fridge – I mean, training away from teammates – the transfer deadline looms like an agility test for turtles. But fear not! Under the lavish gaze of their Saudi Arabian overlords, Howe guarantees a striker will come to rescue them faster than a ferret after cheese, echoing his confidence before playing Liverpool. Despite relying on Anthony Gordon to play as a no.9, Howe points out that unless Gordon channels his inner goal-scoring superhero from last week’s match, Newcastle’s attack looks like a lawn mower attempting a moon landing.
