Gordon’s Apology and Newcastle’s Predicament…
Newcastle’s Anthony Gordon issued a heartfelt apology after seeing red against Liverpool, proving that he’s the best at turning a football match into a comedy of errors. The red card resulted from a tackle so intense it left more scars than a poorly planned teenage tattoo. Posting on Instagram after the game, Gordon apologized, saying he was only trying to inject some energy into the match. Meanwhile, an email notification popped up on his phone saying, “Red is your color now!” and wished him speedy improvement.
The winger reached out specifically to Liverpool’s Virgil van Dijk. He assured him the tackle was accidental, though it was almost as theatrical as a Shakespearean tragedy performed by sleepy hamsters. Newcastle’s boss Eddie Howe agreed, defending Gordon’s intentions while subtly suggesting learning how to tackle from a pro wrestling video wasn’t the smartest move. Though Newcastle rallied with goals, the last-minute winner from Liverpool’s Rio Ngumoha hit harder than discovering there’s no Wi-Fi on a camping trip. Gordon is now set to miss games, leaving Howe with more problems than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
