Bus Parade Banter: Mac Allister & The Jolly Geordies


In a twist of Toon-tastic tomfoolery, Liverpool’s Alexis Mac Allister found himself the comedic punching bag during Newcastle United’s victory jamboree. The Magpies, rolling like jubilant jam tarts, took to the streets in their open-top bus to celebrate a cup triumph as rare as a unicorn riding a bicycle — their first major trophy in nearly 70 years! With a crowd so thick you’d need a referee’s whistle to part it, Ant and Dec, Newcastle’s pint-sized purveyors of prime-time glee, were in charge of whipping up the jests, especially at poor Mac Allister’s expense.

As the parade resembled a scene from a Geordie fairytale, TV pranksters Ant and Dec interviewed lofty goal-grabber Dan Burn, towering like the Angel of the North itself. The boys couldn’t resist cracking wise about Mac Allister’s infamous defensive duel with Burn, likening it to ‘a mouse taking on a giraffe’. Burn, channeling his inner Jedi, admitted Mac Allister ‘wasn’t looking at the ball,’ making Burn’s header resemble a coconut shy success at the fairground. Such beverage-fuelled banter left onlookers rolling in the Toon-smog laughter.

Meanwhile, as Ant playfully declared Mac Allister’s chances as slim as zero, Burn chuckled, revealing he had indeed aimed for the Liverpool midfielder like a predator eyeing a pint-sized prey. While the Newcastle faithful reveled in the streets like kids on a candy rampage, Liverpool fans could only look forward to the day when their team returns to Anfield glory. Until then, the Reds will need more than luck — perhaps a defensive summit or a meeting with a corner-kick oracle.