Declan Rice MIA & the Gunners’ Guard Parade…
Holy moly, Arsenal fans! It seems Mikel Arteta’s ultra-secret weapon, Declan Rice, has gone missing faster than a squirrel with a shiny walnut! In a shocking twist, Leandro Trossard will be tap-dancing into the midfield instead. Meanwhile, Ben White’s got rocket boots on, zooming over to right-back like a superhero who really just wanted to be a defender.
With the Premier League title more out of reach than a pizza slice in a room full of grown-ups, Arsenal’s mission today is to repaint Anfield red with Gunners glory. As Liverpool opponents, they’re closer than ever after a week that saw their silverware dreams dashed against PSG like a bad game of pinball. Let’s not forget the cherry on top as the Gunners line up to give the Reds a guard of honor — because, why not? When life hands you lemons, humbly applaud the fruit vendor.
Liverpool fans? Wear your fancy big-number shirts because your team sits on a breezy 82 points. Meanwhile, Arsenal sticks on their smiley faces aiming to give those Red giants a run for their liver-pate sandwiches. Mikel says Liverpool deserves applause — but here’s hoping Arsenal plays tune-up for the slightly-smaller-than-larger margins. Tune in for the shindig, and may the football gods sprinkle a little comedic chaos over everyone!
