Arteta’s Unstoppable Squad Faces Crystal Palace…
In a plot thicker than a scotch egg, Arsenal’s gaffer Mikel ‘Never Tired’ Arteta has sworn on his grandmother’s secret paella recipe that he ain’t resting no stars against Crystal Palace! With their eyes greedily fixed on the Premier League treasure chest, Arteta insists the team must stay as sharp as a hairpin needle, flinging all caution to the wind ahead of their Champions League showdown with PSG. Meanwhile, in a Liverpudlian lair, Captain Virgil van Dijk and his merry band of Reds plot an anti-Arsenal coup with fingers crossed tighter than a Gazza nutmeg!
Undeterred by mystical whispers of injury influx, Arteta is tossing the doomsayers aside like yesterday’s soggy chips. “Our goal is simple: paint the town red with another win,” Arteta mused, squinting knowingly towards the horizon. His philosophy? Play hard, or don Gianni’s latest tracksuit collection. Buckle up, lads; much like seagulls chasing a trawler, the Gunners are on an unbeaten run that’ll sing a sweeter song than any canary!
In the injury department, an unsuspecting Jorginho finds himself suite-bound while ice packs hitch rides home on Bukayo Saka’s ankles. “No panic, lads,” jested Arteta, waving his magic managerial wand. “Saka might bounce back quicker than a kangaroo on a pogo stick.” Meanwhile, the medical cartel is tight-lipped about timelines, topping off the suspense cake with sprinkles of uncertainty. Other wounded Gunners, including Tomiyasu and Jesus, keep themselves busy plotting their epic return for the ultimate encore!
