Erik ten Hag’s Turbulent Two-Game Stint Ends…
Erik ten Hag’s tent got blown away by a tornado of chaos as Bayer Leverkusen has given him his walking papers after just two Bundesliga rounds! Replacing Xabi Alonso, who prefers tapas to sausages at Real Madrid, Ten Hag struggled to find his groove, barely scraping together a point from two games. The club declared, “We’ve parted ways with Erik ten Hag,” like a breakup note written in binary code—oh, the drama! “Training will be handled by the backroom staff,” says the club, probably hoping they won’t need to moonlight as clowns at a local circus.
Leverkusen’s sporting director, Simon Rolfes, tried soothing the crowd saying no one wanted this, as if it were a universal ban on chocolate. Still, the team bottomed out, like a poorly aimed dive into a shallow pool, after their 3-1 lead vanished into thin air against Werder Bremen, drawing 3-3. Ten Hag said the players need more “intensity” and perhaps a jetpack to keep up with his plans. The squad lost Alonso and two stars to Liverpool, further complicating Ten Hag’s superhero mission without his cape.
