France Minister Does a Tactical U-Turn…
In the soap opera of European football, the plot has just thickened! After spending three Olympic cycles pointing fingers like they were his day job, France’s Justice Minister, Gerald ‘Oops!’ Darmanin, has finally apologized to the Liverpool fans for the 2022 Champs League fiasco in Paris. Darmanin, formerly the Interior Minister – think of him as the traffic warden for French football hooliganism – had initially crafted a tall tale about 40,000 ghost fans storming the gates of the Stade de France like Sherlock Holmes sans tickets. Even Klopp got a shoutout, almost accused of conjuring his own fan club like an 18th-century doppelgänger!
Fast forward to now, and Darmanin’s had an epiphany as bright as a stadium floodlight: “My bad, Liverpool fans! I was seeing red, literally, and thought y’all were up to your Scouse tricks!” In a surprising twist worthy of a reality TV plot, he neatly admitted his blunder – talk about a red card reversal! He painted a picture of ticket-holding fans caught in a medieval standoff against burly riot police who were prepared for a hooli-war but ended up refereeing the world’s slowest relay race.
The cherry-on-top? This UEFA final was a last-minute switcheroo from Russia to Paris almost as quick as a Salah sprint, leaving France’s security with a plan that could barely stop a paper airplane invasion. Darmanin reflected on the comedy of errors like he was on a blooper reel, owned up to the operational hiccup, and cheekily noted their rugby-sized police boots were designed for tap-dancing at best, not handling the slick footwork of Liverpool faithful. A jolly apology indeed—though UEFA’s investigation said their epic fumble was the real headliner, spotlighting the chaos like a dramatic penalty miss!
