Leaky Boots Spill Gerrard’s Dugout Dream…
Once upon a rainbow-clad dugout, our hero Steven Gerrard wobbled from the glamor of managing Rangers to the scorching sands of Al-Ettifaq. Though his wallet jingled like a mariachi band, his coaching creds took a nosedive quicker than a beach ball in a hurricane. But fear not, dear fans! The Renaissance Ranger is rumored to return to his blue kingdom, where he once reigned supreme, guiding Rangers to the shiny glory of Scottish Premiership title in the yesterdays of olden 2021.
Enter Djibril Cisse, our flamboyant whistleblower! With Instagram alight, like a Christmas tree in June, Cisse revealed that Gerrard, who had promised a star guest appearance at his French charity jamboree, now must bow out due to bizarrely vague “professional reasons.” Translation: he’s trading the French Riviera for the damp, yet affectionate, embrace of Scotland — proper footie business, we say! Add a few Bumpsala and a fake mustache, you’ve got yourself a managerial makeover on the cards.
Rangers fans, don your most jubilant kilts and pop those confetti-fueled bagpipes! For it seems betting on Gerrard’s return is as favored as munching down a juicy Halftime Pie. Instagram sleuths are following breadcrumbs trailed by Cisse, firmly believing Stevie is ready to step back into the Ibrox bear hug, to once more woo the crowd of kilt-wearing warriors. Who needs a crystal ball when you have an Instagram post and a thirst for Scottish supremacy?
