Newcastle Negotiates Away Isak’s Loyalty Payment…

Alexander Isak’s transfer to Liverpool is set to be the most expensive Premier League move, but it seems like he’s leaving his loyalty payment behind like a dog forgets its favorite chew toy. Newcastle decided against handing him a loyalty bonus, especially since his Instagram post made the team look like they’d forgotten his birthday. As Isak bolted to Anfield, the Magpies removed the bonus clause faster than a magician at a children’s party.

With the transfer deadline drama, Isak is headed to Liverpool for a staggering £125 million, which is about as much as the cost of a spaceship—give or take a few rockets. The inclusiveness of solidarity payments means Newcastle’s payday might reach up to £130 million. While Liverpool rejoices in Isak capturing, Hugo Ekitike readies to defend his net-territory like a knight challenged to a joust by a medieval newcomer. In the meantime, Isak lines up for his medical exams, hoping his visit won’t require the endurance of a marathon runner.