Isak’s Liverpool Tango and Payday Fiesta…
Hold onto your football boots, folks! Alexander Isak, the Swedish striker with more demands than a catwalk diva, is reportedly asking Newcastle United for a whopping $400,000-a-week. That’s right, enough cash to buy a solid gold goalpost every month! But fret not, Toon Army, the Magpie magician is sticking around as Liverpool have switched their glitzy gaze to Hugo Ekitike. The Ekitike Express has chugged all the way from Eintracht Frankfurt, leaving Isak dodging transfer headlines like a goalkeeper dodges a watermelon on April Fools’ Day.
Meanwhile, Ekitike, the new French fancy on Mersey Street, is unpacking his bags for a long six-year stay at the Anfield abode. Liverpool coughed up a cool $106 million for the striking sensation, clearly hoping he scores faster than kids attacking a candy store. As for Isak, he’s got the backup plans of a chess grandmaster—”considering all options” while Newcastle plays a game of ‘stay-or-pay’ like a dramatized soap opera over his contract demands.
Newcastle, sitting on the edge of their strategically ironed seats, are juggling balls between cynicism and charm in a bid to extend Isak’s current spotlight till 2028. They’ve got more big names than a superstar squad list and are hoping this wage war doesn’t end up with the entire dressing room arguing over who gets the next pay rise. Amidst this comedic chaos, one can only wonder: Is Isak the cherry on Newcastle’s cake, or the extra sprinkles demanding a golden spoon?
