Portsmouth Loan Drama Unfolds…
If you’ve ever tried to play football wearing clown shoes, you’ll know a little of what Kaide Gordon’s season has been like. The lad, who packed his bags for a Championship tour with Norwich City and Portsmouth, has found himself benched more times than a demanding toddler in time-out. Despite his best efforts, the 20-year-old wing wizard has managed a whopping 296 minutes on the pitch — which, in football terms, is shorter than a blooper reel.
Fear not, for the Portsmouth gaffer, John ‘No Messing’ Mousinho, has finally spilled the beans on this dramatic tale of dashed hopes. “Kaide’s been unlucky — he’s tackled the field for minutes harder than a defender trying to stop a runaway meatball, but it’s crunch time,” he said, like a sage of soccer justice. While Portsmouth celebrates surviving relegation, poor Kaide must watch as the focus shifts to those who might bring future glory to the south.
Born with the football in his DNA, Kaide Gordon was snatched from Derby County by Liverpool back in ’21. But between injury scribbles in his career book and wanting a new swashbuckling forward line next season, Liverpool might need to hand Gordon a better treasure map. Who knows, maybe Gordon will strike gold in the football jackpot this summer and unleash a whirlwind of magical goals like a footballing wizard unshackled from a witch’s curse!
