Trent Stays, But Who Says Goodbye to Anfield? …

Ah, the dramatic world of football, where players come and go like the draughts in my Aunt Muriel’s attic! As Liverpool fans prepare excuses for missing that cousin’s wedding on Sunday to watch the Carabao Cup final against Newcastle, some players might be packing their bags for a permanent holiday. While Arne Slot dreams of lifting silverware like he’s in his own sports movie, Trent Alexander-Arnold’s possible farewell is a tear-jerker worthy of an Oscar.

But before you bring out the tissues, the plot thickens. “He’ll be back!” declares Slot, like a football version of Arnold Schwarzenegger (but with a less confusing accent). Meanwhile, Trent might get one last stroll down memory lane at Anfield before swapping his Reds jersey for sunny Madrid. But who else could be leaving for good? Enter Vitezslav Jaros, who may have enjoyed his final Anfield curtain call as Liverpool plans a more festive goalkeeping dance card this summer.

Joe Gomez’s hamstring is doing its best impression of a yo-yo while Tyler Morton’s shoulder seems to be taking an extended nap. And Federico Chiesa? Well, he’s enjoyed so few game minutes you might think he’s a ghost in the squad room. As Liverpool fans nervously munch on popcorn waiting to see how the drama unfolds, remember: football is a bonkers business, or as Anfield might call it, “just another day at the office.”