Water Street Whodunit & Wobble…
Hold on to your footie boots, because the aftermath of Liverpool FC’s title parade played out more like a football soap opera than a victory lap! Our main character, Paul Doyle, a 53-year-old from West Derby, has been charged faster than a Virgil van Dijk clearance. He’s facing a full red card of charges, including more GBH than a derby match! Harry Potter could take notes on a story filled with intent, wounding, and attempted GBH, all rolled into one nail-biting episode on Water Street.
Despite the parade meant for cheers and chants, it ended with more plot twists than a football manager’s press conference. The Prosecutors and Police are working through more evidence than a VAR room mid-chaos. With 79 players, er… people injured, the stage turned from festive fiesta to drama day faster than you can say “You’ll Never Walk Alone.” And with Sarah Hammond waving her magic gavel, the court date is set, promising justice will be served hot with a side of Scouse.
Assistant Chief Constable Jenny Sims, steering this ship of enquiry like a trusty captain on a stormy Mersey River, assures us that justice will dribble its way through due process. With seven people still at Hospital United, the police are gathering footage the length of a Peter Crouch goal celebration. Meanwhile, the city holds its collective breath, wondering how this comic strip of a story will unfold on court day. Keep your eyes peeled, dear fans; the beautiful game’s off-field drama has left the station!
