Newcastle Agrees to Woltemade Deal…
Newcastle has swooped in like a seagull eyeing your fish and chips, signing Nick Woltemade from Stuttgart. This shocking move might just send Alexander Isak packing to Liverpool, which he’s been itching to do more than a cat stuck in a bathtub. Isak hasn’t seen his teammates since before they jetted off to China—probably because he left his passport at home—and now Newcastle’s spending more than 90 million dollars to make Woltemade the new star on the badge. Desperate to bring in new talent, Newcastle tried signing multiple players this summer, including a Liverpool newbie, but had about as much luck as a penguin in the desert.
Newcastle reportedly attempted to snap up Larsen from Wolves, but let’s just say their efforts were like trying to start a campfire with wet spaghetti. So instead, they’ve got their eyes set on Wissa as a replacement for Wilson. Meanwhile, Liverpool is eagerly waiting in the wings with their pockets jingling as they prepare to tempt Isak away with a $400,000-a-week golden carrot, while Brentford dances around trying to sign Borussia Dortmund’s Maximilian Beyer. If everything lines up like a well-aimed penalty kick, Isak could soon be scoring in a Liverpool jersey!
