Gary Goes Scouser-Loco, Picks 4 Reds…
Hold onto your hats, folks! Our favorite ex-Red Devil, Gary ‘The Curtain Whisperer’ Neville, has crafted a Premier League XI fit for legends —but with a twist the size of a scorpion kick. Imagine this: a Man United loyalist picking four (yes, FOUR!) Liverpool icons after a wizardly spell of “No United Players Allowed” was cast by Roy Keane, Jamie Carragher, and spellmaster Kelly Cates! Gary had to dig deep into his cauldron of wisdom during a live showdown on The Overlap in 2022.
Using his noggin like a football GPS, Neville drafted Liverpool’s Alisson in goal. And, blimey! Landing a spot in Neville’s fortress is Virgil ‘The Dutch Wall’ van Dijk, alongside Chelsea’s grumpy guard trio of Cesar Azpilicueta, Ashley Cole, and John Terry. The crowd booed like they’d seen a ghost, to which Neville hilariously retorted, “Did your eardrums take a nap?! I can’t pick United players, folks!” Despite hails for Keano and Scholes, Arsenal’s gladiator Patrick Vieira high-fived Liverpool’s own Steven ‘Go-Go Gadget’ Gerrard in midfield, leaving Carragher giggling like a schoolboy.
As shuffle-footed as a dance maestro, David Silva slipstreamed into No. 10, while goal gladiator Mohamed Salah tangoed onto the right wing. Thierry ‘Twinkle Toes’ Henry shimmered on the left, boasting his boulangerie of Golden Boots alongside Salah’s. And leading the line with DIY glue to the net was Alan ‘The Goal Maestro’ Shearer. Fans shouted, stamped, and waved their Didier Drogba banners, but Neville doubled down on his Toon talisman, proving once more that, even in fantasy, the Premier League is a comedy of surprises.
