Toon Army’s Bizarre Battle for Wissa…
In a plot twist more topsy-turvy than a Ronaldo bicycle kick on a wet pitch, Newcastle United has its eyes set on Yoane Wissa—the delightful striker with feet swift as a gazelle on a sugar rush! The Toon Army’s darling, Hugo Ekitike, has dashed away, eloping with Liverpool in a transfer drama spicier than a Geordie curry. Managers whipping out their cell phones quicker than a referee’s yellow card were in a mad scramble for strikers, and boom! Wissa popped up on Howe’s wish list.
Liverpool, like a sneaky striker lurking offside, pipped Newcastle to the post for Ekitike, leaving Newcastle dreaming dreams of a killer partnership between Wissa and Isak, freer than a squirrel in a free kick frenzy. Back at Brentford, management fretted about holding onto Wissa, especially with Thomas Frank’s departure to manage the incredible shrinking Lilywhites, and other key players already stacking airport luggage for new adventures.
Despite Brentford waving a forlorn farewell to an impressive 20 goals from Wissa last season, Phil Giles is cooler than a penguin at halftime, staying zen-tastic about the buzzing bees’ depleted swarm. Meanwhile, clubs from Tottenham to Nottingham Forest are circling Wissa tighter than a set piece gone chaotic, each promising European spots shinier than a freshly polished trophy!
