Guardiola’s Barmy Roster Rumble…
Hold onto your hats, football fans — Pep Guardiola’s ready to hang up his manager boots and start a new career as a frozen foods curator! If Manchester City doesn’t lighten its load of players next season, our favorite tactical genius threatened to swap the dugout for an ice rink! Like a wizard conjuring too many apprentices, Pep’s had enough — nobody wants leftovers in the locker room!
With Liverpool flaunting their Premier League crown like a kid with a new toy, Man City is going full FIFA Ultimate Squad, planning to rejuvenate their not-so-spry lineup. Pep, thrown into the wild west of injury-ridden schedule jigsaw, wants a crew that’s less “Titanic lifeboat” and more “Porsche with two seats”. If he can’t defrost his starting XI weekly without feeling guilty, it’s bye-bye Pep! “Trim the squad,” roars the Catalan maestro. “Else you’ll find me teaching penguins how to dribble!”
As the transfer gossip mill churns faster than a blender at breakfast, rumorville suggests City may pull back on their wish for Leverkusen’s Florian Wirtz. Meanwhile, Liverpool eyes potential new bling in sprinter boots, including right-back Jeremie Frimpong and left-back Milos Kerkez — don’t forget your ice creams, folks, it’s heating up! Who knows, Guardiola might even have academy kids running up and down the Etihad for kicks and giggles. Blimey, what a circus next season promises to be!
