Liverpool’s Dazed and Confused Lineup…
In a plot twist Shakespeare himself couldn’t script, Liverpool is about to march into Craven Cottage with a line-up more scrambled than a footballer after a head-butt from an irate referee. Alisson, still seeing double after a concussion test, will be donning an imaginary cape on the sidelines. His absence means the Reds might just have to call upon their secret weapon—Caoimhin Kelleher, who dreams in clean sheets and keeps them under his pillow like match-winning fairies.
Meanwhile, over in the wild, wild west of Liverpool’s defense, the right-back position has become something of a Bermuda Triangle. If Trent, Conor, and Joe keep falling into the injury void, Curtis Jones might find himself pulling more tricks on the right flank than a magician on derby day. Who knew a midfielder could turn into a defensive dynamo faster than a cheetah chasing its morning espresso?
And let’s not even get started on the Mac Allister miracle! James Tarkowski tried to morph him into a traffic cone during Wednesday’s game, but the Argentine just danced through it, leaving Fulham’s plans wobblier than a newborn foal in roller skates. Arne Slot hopes the adrenaline doesn’t wear off, or he’ll be sending more players to the field in armor fit for medieval jousts rather than modern football battles.
