If Salah Wore an Arsenal Jersey…
In a universe not so far away, Arsenal fans dream of an alternate reality where Mohamed Salah swaps the Liverpool red for the Arsenal cannonball red. Roy Keane, the footy oracle with eyebrows more expressive than a Shakespearean actor, dropped the verdict: having Salah in the Gunners’ ranks would end the Premier League’s longest title quest since Pheidippides ran to Athens! With a trail of goals and assists hotter than a summer barbecue, Salah is the ketchup that gives Liverpool their sizzling edge.
The Gunners’ late-season swoon has them leaking points faster than a colander, leaving Arteta wringing his hands like a coach whose tactics got lost on the way to the stadium. Eleven points off the pace, Arsenal’s dreams have drifted into a haze of missed chances and an injury list longer than the Great Wall. Keane’s verdict might sting, but Arsenal’s transfer window in January was as silent as a library in church. Without fresh firepower, Arsenal’s title charge fell flatter than a pancake on Pancake Day.
Meanwhile, over at the Anfield Asylum, Liverpool fans are doing the moonwalk after Salah inked a new contract that would make Scrooge McDuck green with envy. At $460,000 a week, he’s sticking around for another two years, promising more golden goals the way an ice cream truck promises happiness on a summer day. Liverpool’s bigwigs broke their own rulebook to keep Salah, proving even hard-nosed owners have a soft spot for magic on the pitch!
