Liverpool’s Cup Slip ‘n’ Slide Ends in Title Hopes…

In a move that seems to blend football expertise with the fortune-telling prowess of a magic 8-ball, Thierry Henry predicts Liverpool’s recent crash landing out of two major cups won’t threaten their Premier League dreams. Fresh off back-to-back exits from the Champions League and the Carabao Cup final loss to Newcastle, the Reds seem to be wearing the motto: “We Can’t Win ‘Em All.”

Henry plays it cool, suggesting that this hiccup won’t dent Liverpool’s comfy 12-point cushion over a second-place Arsenal. “It’s called winning more games,” Henry snickers on CBS Sports, wagging his finger like a stern but understanding parent. As long as Liverpool doesn’t pull a Houdini act and vanish, the title is still their fancy piece of silverware to lose.

While Mikel Arteta, the ever-optimistic Arsenal manager, tunes his guitar for a comeback concert, Liverpool’s maestro Slot tackles the rumors. Was Newcastle hungrier? Slot shrugs, “Nah, they just needed a trophy as much as a desert needs a drop of rain.” Because, apparently, trophy droughts last longer than some ice ages. It seems, even in defeat, Liverpool knows how to keep its chin up, cheekily planning its main title dish while surviving on a diet of cup noodles.