Stan Collymore’s Space-Age Suggestion…
Florian Wirtz, the German sensation with more tricks up his sleeves than a magician’s rabbit hole, is set to land at Liverpool with a plumb bop larger than Big Ben’s. After scaling the lofty alps of negotiating tutus with Bayer Leverkusen for weeks that felt longer than a dreadful nil-nil draw, the mighty Reds have secured a deal that’s more monstrous than the Loch Ness Monster’s appetite. Liverpool is about to flash some pounds heavier than a binge-eating heavyweight boxer, with a medical pending, of course. We’re talking legend Collymore-esque cash, folks!
Remember Stan Collymore? The fella who made headlines back when Jurassic Park was the blockbuster — yes, he made that earth-shaking £8.5 million switch! Now, that era-defining move from Nottingham Forest seems as quaint as dial-up internet compared to today’s billion-dollar bonanzas on Merseyside. But, here’s a cheeky nugget, Liverpool’s latest sensation-in-the-making Wirtz sneezing once might outvalue an entire Everton squad thanks to some spicy add-ons that could soar higher than a Cristiano cryogenic leap.
Collymore, himself a sage from the age of floppy disks and errant elbows, has some sage advice for Liverpool: Let’s give the lad a normal old hello, no grand piano solos or Hollywood spotlights. Unlike their red-devilish rivals across town, Liverpool should let their on-field brilliance do the talking, not the sound of deafening dollar bills. Follow Manchester City’s chill blueprint: think more ‘Oh hi, welcome Wirtz’ rather than a royal parade with dancing tea cozies — straight to the point, feet on the ground. He’s German, after all; efficiency over empty glam every day of the week!
